Need Control?

Are you a control freak? Have you ever thought about how much stress you put on yourself trying to manage every little thing in your life or work? Would you take the jump?

If you’re scrambling to grasp at proverbial straws to regain some sort of sense of control in your life, then you need this one simple tip!

Are you’re too much of a control freak?

Do these statements sound familiar?

  • If your coworker or significant other would just change one or two things about him/herself, then you’d be happier. (So you try to “help them” change by repeatedly pointing out how/what they need to do to change)
  • You obsess over trying to make other people fit your expectations. (Because your way truly would be better for everyone)
  • You judge other people’s behaviors based on right or wrong and make sure they know they would be better off to meet your expectations.
  • You provide “constructive criticism” to help guide them into becoming who you want them to become… (you know… for their own good)
  • You dictate how people think about you by deciding how you act and what you believe so they will accept you (even though that depiction doesn’t necessarily align with who you really are).
  • You provide worst-case scenarios specifically to influence someone away from certain behaviors and toward other behaviors, often through fear mongering.
  • You are uncomfortably uncomfortable with not knowing something.

 

If those statements sound like you, then you might be addicted to control.

A little control may be a good thing… controlling your actions to reach the next level of your career… controlling who you allow to surround you to avoid toxic relationships that hold you back… controlling how you respond to certain circumstances could mean the difference between attracting and repelling success in any area of your life.

However… too much control may strip your spouse, children, or work subordinates from feeling responsible for tasks you delegate to them. Over time, through your controlling needs, they may end up feeling:

  • incapable of delegating
  • overly submissive
  • overly rebellious (complaining, and maybe even try to sabotage your efforts and goals)
  • uninvolved
  • uncomfortable and incapable of making decisions,
  • disengaged
  • low self-esteem
  • lack motivation

 

Are you struggling to relinquish some control?

Many people addicted to control know they need to give up some control to avoid major upcoming stress attacks, anxiety, feeling continually overwhelmed, and obsessing over how no one is doing anything the way you told them to…

Because, lets face it, micromanaging what everyone is doing and how they are doing what they’re doing takes up a LOT of time and energy!

While some stress can be beneficial… too much stress comes with some serious consequences.

  • Reduced energy
  • Headaches
  • Digestion troubles
  • Unexplained pain and tension
  • Chest pain
  • Rapid heartbeat (which for some people can be irregular too)
  • Insomnia
  • Increased sickness and infections
  • Nervousness or shaking
  • Ringing in your ear
  • Cold hands and feet (sometimes sweaty too)
  • Teeth grinding or jaw clinching

 

Imagine a life without going overboard on control…

Just imagine… the things you ask your spouse to do are suddenly getting done… no arguments… no drama… no-nonsense… just a complete honey-do-list in time to mix your favorite drinks and sit on the back deck enjoying each others company.

Just imagine… the things you ask your work colleagues to do are suddenly getting done… no fuss… no stress… no drama… no “going knee-deep in someones a$$” (as we would say in the military) to get things done. Just completed tasking in time for everyone to go home to their families and/or hobbies.

Just imagine… everything is getting done peacefully without you needing to run around like a chicken with its head cut off.

 

Doesn’t that sound great??? No fuss… no mess… no heart palpitations… Just productivity.

 

So here you are… a total control freak daydreaming about how nice it would be to not need to constantly be in control. But… how are you supposed to control your way into not being controlling?

 

Seeking natural help

After developing some intense medical conditions, I ended up completely consumed with controlling everything I possibly could control (thanks to not having any control over my failing body). I can’t count the number of doctors who offered me “a pill to help with that” and who mentioned I was “too concerned about my health.” Having dealt with “pill fatigue” for several years, the last thing I wanted was for some pill and all its side effect glories to take away another piece of who I was (yes… more control).

When I realized the benefits of leading a more natural lifestyle, I started paying attention to the emotional benefits of it too.

I found 2 things to be incredibly beneficial to curbing my control freak habits… skydiving and essential oils.

Stop being a control freak... with these natural solutions

Imagine for a moment…

You’re standing there completely consumed by stress and anger because once again no one is listening to you. Moms know this all too well with children with popular memes running rampant on Pinterest about how after you fail to do the chores the way mom told you to first. And the we all know Corporate America (and the military) aren’t short of their own incompetent workers too.

So there you are… feeling full of rage because once again it is up to you to clean up the mess caused by everyone not listening and not doing things the way you want them to. You feel that anger starting deep down in your core, and quickly (yet somehow in total slo-mo) that raging angry feeling is creeping up your torso, down your arms and legs, and up your neck until you’re completely consumed.

And then… you take a brief moment to sniff that little bottle hiding in your bag. That sweet vanilla-lime aroma oddly reminiscent of a margarita… bringing back memories of your younger days out with friends at Taco Tuesday. You stop in your tracks, feeling that frustration quite literally melt away. No more palpitations. No more feeling overwhelmed with rage… it is all gone… and you briefly smile with your newfound independence.

No… your “give-a-damn” didn’t break… you’re just relaxed and ready for some enjoyment from life. Nothing good comes from an angry state of mind anyways.

 

My favorite DIY essential oil blend for curbing my need to be overly involved in everything is to add 3 drops each of cypress and orange essential oils into a diffuser (or 1 drop each onto diffusing jewelry). Using oils that help support your liver (like citrus oils, lavender, peppermint, and lemongrass), large intestines (such as fennel, peppermint, or ginger), and kidneys (like fennel, juniper, citrus oils, and lemongrass) also helps with coping through relinquishing some of that control and also some of that associated anger and fear emotions too.

Of course, you don’t need so much DIY or confusion…

Of course here in our home, we understand being too busy for DIY and research on how to use them. Adding essential oils to your routine doesn’t need to be complicated (we LOVE promoting simplicity in your life).

Having an oil blend pre-made that you can just drip into a diffuser or on to a piece of jewelry is super convenient, especially without having to worry about which ones mix well with others.

** We do provide complimentary coaching for our members, holding your hand every step of the way when it comes to embracing a natural health lifestyle… head on over to our essential oils page for more information about oils and how to earn a 24% discount on high quality oils. 

My favorite pre-made essential oil blends to help your mind take a chill pill from needing to control everything are Envision, Dream Catcher, Stress Away, and Motivation. They come exclusively from one of our favorite healthy lifestyle companies that is dedicated to high quality standards.


 

Would you jump?

I’m curious… would you take the leap out of a perfectly good airplane?

I remember back in 2011… I was attending college at Virginia Wesleyan and decided to produce a marketing plan for a local nonprofit that helps combat disabled veterans launch their marketing program and fundraising.

Veteran causes are very near and dear to my heart, especially after seeing how easy it is for veterans health services and other programs to fail actually helping veterans who need it the most.

While sitting at a long table, talking with the founder of The Combat Wounded Coalition and his wife, I was asked to go skydiving with a group of 200 wounded guys.

I remember laughing at the founder, a combat wounded SEAL.

Why should I jump out of an airplane, when I couldn’t even ride an elevator without having a low blood pressure spell and faint?

I couldn’t even walk unassisted… why would I jump out of an airplane???

Why would I jump out of an airplane when nothing in my life was any picture of health… heart palpitations… seizures… random unconscious spells… ridiculously low blood pressure spells… besides, no doctor in their right mind would say that was a good idea…

I had better control over my body when I could decide when I needed a break, when I needed to sit, and when I needed to go home and hide from the world under a pile of blankets on my unmade bed.

… but I did it anyways…

I remember giggling quietly as a double amputee swung his legs back and forth, reminding me of a little kid unable to touch the floor.

We were asked to tuck our feet behind the butt of the guy we were jumping tandem with. The amputee next to me, with both legs ending just below his knees, asked his jumping buddy if he still wants his feet behind his butt.

I will never forget:

  • the courage of those men I jumped with…
  • the humor of those men I jumped with…
  • that moment my stomach dropped when one of he amputees waved to me with a big smile on his face before stepping backwards into the clouds…
  • feeling absolutely terrified in complete free fall… attached to a complete stranger… with absolutely no control what so ever of what was going to happen next…

I felt terrified that I was going to lose consciousness…

Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane? You may be surprised!

Then the parachute deployed. I was yanked upwards, suddenly and without warning.

And everything stopped… the panic… the uncertainty… the fear… the need to control… everything stopped. I questioned a few times if I was actually awake or if I had slipped back into paralyzing unconsciousness (yes… I was still awake).

While floating through the clouds, overlooking farm land, completely out of control, I felt completely at peace.

And through that experience, I was once again transformed into a student.

Lessons you can only learn after jumping out of a perfectly good airplane:

  • It is ok to give up control…
  • See the beauty of the world from a larger viewpoint…
  • You can find peace, even when life is full of chaos…
  • Life and time both have worth… (don’t squander it away consumed in negativity)
  • Fear is a fickle thing…
  • While fear can be crippling, in the end it doesn’t control us. (It is something that can be faced and overcome.)
  • Those thoughts in the back of your mind that provide you with nothing but whispers of self-doubt… those are just thoughts… (thoughts don’t control you or what you do… you can ignore the unproductive ones)
  • You choose what you do.

Why jump out of a perfectly good airplane?

Because it provides some intense liberation that takes you outside your own head… outside your fears… outside your control…

Because it gives you a whole new perspective that you can’t find anywhere else.

Sometimes you can even find purpose within yourself

Either way, it changes you. It changes your perspective… how you see, think, and feel.

I do believe this is especially useful when thinking about jumping into your own thing… starting your own business… diving into some personal development… or following an old dream that you buried long ago in piles of excuses.

I’d like to encourage you to find a place to go, and take the leap.

Liberate yourself.

Overcome some fear, overcome your perpetual need to control everything, and overcome those mental blocks that keep you stuck.

 


 

Did you find this post helpful? If you enjoyed this post, please comment below and share.

Nicole

P.S. If you’re looking for some additional natural health methods to overcome being a control freak, reach out! Head on over to contact us and let us know!

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About the author

Nicole

I am a wife, a mom, and a curious mind. I run www.WarmlyRustic.com and www.EssentialOils.Life, and love living a relatively old fashioned lifestyle with an extensive background in research and analysis. I enjoy creating things, cooking, teaching, personal development, and natural preventative health. I'm also a huge information nerd and love to share my findings with others.


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